| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|11:52 pm] |
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That wasnt about Theron by the way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
It hurts. To see that your happy. And that nothing happened. I see what it really was now. I see what you are too. In your world. And letting everyone know just how much you don't care. I cared. I do. I loved you. I guess you just thought I was something else. Maybe we weren't anything. Was I fooling myself? You tell me. Thanks for telling me happy birthday. Thanks for seeing how I'm doing. It was a long time ago. And it lasted a long time. But it was nothing so you let it go. Good luck. I wish you the best. I just wish I wasn't feeling hurt. I wish this was nothing to me as well. It's not. I think you know. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2005|10:13 am] |
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I agree with Mike!
I love me some Tiffany Rose.
Oh, and I was the first friend to call this morning! What now?! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|06:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
theronnieus: i think we are like a pair of gloves...
theronnieus: what good is one without the other?
theronnieus: :-)
Isn't that just the sweetest thing? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|02:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Coldplay X&Y | ] |
I've been feeling like a completely different person. I feel like I have no real friends anymore. I feel like I lost all of my friends. It makes me sad. But, surprisingly I'm not too upset. I feel like I'm trying to numb myself to the feeling of sadness and it's starting to rise back up again. I feel like leaving this place and starting my life over. I just want the weights to come off my back. It hurts to feel deserted. But, I'm glad I can start to see my life for what it is, and the people for who they are. I was convenient I guess. I guess I'm just not convenient anymore. At least I know that I'm not just there to be there anymore. I don't want to be anywhere I'm not wanted.
"Is there anyone out there who, is lost and hurt and lonely too? Are they bleeding all your colors into one? ....You wonder if your chance will ever come. You're stuck in square one."
I just feel odd now. I feel like I'm stuck in this game created by a toddler. Why do I have the feeling that friendship has turned into some sort of competition now? Why do I get the feeling that I'm purposefully being put down and denied? Like, things are being continuously rubbed in my face. Like it really matters to me. I've pushed it aside and thrown it out. But, there are times....some times when I turn to the right to see it sitting there...the feeling of pain and hurt and rejection.
Oh well, like she said...."maybe it was just the right place at the right time." Or, maybe it was my wrong time. Maybe I missed the spot where we switched places. Last year.....this year. Is that the same person? Same face, same skin, different heart...different mind. It's all different now. It's all changing. My life, my friends, my heart, my mind is always changing. Maybe I'll look back on this loss of friends one day and just see it as one of those changes. Maybe a change that leads to a bigger and better change. Maybe a change that helps me to grow wiser and stronger.
I'll be what I'll be. I am what I am.
I just want to finish this year.
I want to be proud.
I want to do good.
I want to cry. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|04:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | i do not know. lol | ] |
| [ | music |
| | slience | ] |
Man, I really would like best smile. I hope I get it. Or at least get nominated. But, it won't be the end of the world i guess. It's just nice to be special for something. I figure since everyone says i have a nice smile and i'm always laughing then maybe i could get some kind of noticed. But, ok, I'm being retarded. I'll stop. If i get it, i get it. If i don't, i don't. I'll still be happy. It won't wipe the smile off my face.
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| vote for my smile |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|09:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
Baton Rouge High......
You know who has a great smile????
ME!!!!!!
So give me that vote for best smile yo! =)
Sorry if that sounded rude. I'm not trying to be stuck up. |
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| PARTAY |
[Sep. 8th, 2005|10:43 am] |
| [ | music |
| | the sounds of Mike trying to convince me to kiss him | ] |
Those of you who are friends of Katie Moore, there is a SUPRISE party for her 18th birthday at my house this Friday night.
(Tomorrow, September 10,2005)
Arrive some time between 6:30-7:00 P.M.
For those of you who do not know where I live, call:
803-3177 (cell)
752-5071 (home)
P.S. Remember that it's a SECRET!
If i find out that any of you have told her i will personally track you down and beat you!!!!
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estherleigh's journal
